It has been a long time since I wrote, and I know that over the past couple years, my communication has dwindled.
I have a confession and a commitment I would like to share with you.
Over the past couple years, since having my first child, I have struggled. I didn't realize it at the time, but I went through a full-blown identity crisis. I was deep in my head with beliefs that I was not enough as a mother and provider for my daughter and my family. I grasped down different paths. I was all over the place. I was a mess! At one point, I believe it was time for me to let go of Zenit and "get a proper job."
I withdrew from you and Zenit's supporters. For that, I am sorry.
However, thankfully, from lots of internal work, journaling, plus love and helpful conversations with other moms and people in my life, I have come out the other side. I am here with a renewed commitment.
In my identity search to find who I am supposed to be for my family, I have come back to the beginning of Zenit - my "why" for starting Zenit Journals in the first place: My compassion and empathy for the uphill battle so many of us face in supporting our wellbeing. My understanding of the long, hard journey it takes to go from saying "my mental health matters" to believing it, and then to living it. My desire to support people in their healing and wellness journeys.
I am now committed to moving forward from a place of trust - not a place of panic or inadequacy. I have seen how providing people with intentional spaces to slow down, journal, process, reflect, and affirm themselves through guided journaling can be healing. I have seen the power of human connection as a source of wellness. Healing is human. Moreover, since opening my shop, I have been able to integrate more arts into wellness experiences, and I am excited to bring more of that to Zenit - combining guided journaling and soothing arts as ways to process and express our thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires, and envision paths forward in our wellness journeys.
And for me, as a new mom, I am getting better at giving myself grace and credit. There are so many ways we provide. I am building the path for me to be the mom I want to be and to have the impact I want to have with Zenit. Plus, with #2 on the way, I am committed to better focusing my work efforts on my original "why."
Looking ahead, I am grounded in my commitment - to you, to the community, to this work. Life continues to happen. We continue to be hit with real threats to our wellbeing, especially threats rooted in hate, racism, sexism, and oppression. I am but one piece in a vast wellness ecosystem, but I am clear on my part, and I am here to do it with love.
With love,
Alina