In our self care journaling mini-retreat this past Sunday, we journaled to prompts like "Where am I feeling stuck?", "My ancestors are whispering to me," and "What do I want?"
I had some unexpected realizations in my self care journaling. I first realized that I'd been feeling stuck in my wellness. Many things haven't been going the way I plan, and I wrote, "This constant chasing has got me constantly tired and feeling not enough... I feel I'm pushing forward but slipping backwards because I'm constantly physically and mentally and emotionally drained. Wow, so that door was opened." Even though I had been feeling that way for some time, this was the first time I named it in my self care journaling.
Then, to the prompt, "My ancestors are whispering to me...", I realized I'd been holding on the singular narrative that my ancestors worked so hard and sacrificed so much, so I need to live up to that. But then I asked in my wellness journal, is that what they're really saying? Maybe they would say, "Honor us by being YOU. We led to the creation of you, not some mini-version of us."
And so I saw, "I've been trying to create a new path for myself but been holding onto the same finish line. That won't work."
Which allowed me to say, "I am not behind. I am enough, because there is no benchmark. And that is why we are all enough."
And then I could breathe. I could let the tears flow. I could release the exhaustion that I'd been gripping onto. I could allow myself to be.
Over this week, I won't say I'm completely changed. Old habits take time to shift. But I've been reminding myself that even as things are hard, I don't have to get frustrated. I don't have to push harder. I'm ok. I'm enough. I can keep being me. I can stay the course in what I believe in and what I want.
Is there is area in your life where you're feeling stuck? Try to write it out through your self care journaling. What is it? Why do you feel stuck? And then, you can try to find some inspiration from what your ancestors are whispering to you, or by writing about what you truly want in your heart.
Alina Liao, founder of Zenit
Feel it, write it, Zenit
"And that is why we're all enough"
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