Yesterday, I finished the book Fledgling by Octavia Butler. In her bio at the end, she describes herself as "an oil-and-water combination of ambition, laziness, insecurity, certainty, and drive."
That made me pause and smile. I wrote it down in my custom wellness journal. I said, "Wow. I LOVE the image of being an 'oil-and-water' combination of things because we know oil and water won't ever mix - and that's OK. They can still coexist together."
There's so much pressure to be a certain way - to be "right" inside. In my self care journaling, I've long grappled with the parts of myself that conflict. "What's wrong with me?" I vent in my self care journaling. On the one hand, I'm a big dreamer and I push myself hard. On the other hand, I often crave to just sit still and do nothing. On the one hand, my self-doubt and worst-case-scenario thinking makes me proceed with caution. On the other hand, I do believe in myself and want to forge ahead boldly.
But when I asked in my self care journaling, well, what is my "oil-and-water combination"? I got some breathing space. I journaled in my custom wellness journal, "it's OK if I don't make sense." It's OK that I have all these different parts of myself that seem to conflict. They don't have to actually conflict. They can simply roll around each other like oil and water. I can let it be.
What about you? What are the oil-and-water parts of you? What does it mean to view your oil-and-water combination with acceptance? Try to write it out in your self care journaling.
With love,
Alina Liao, founder of Zenit
Feel it, write it, Zenit
It's OK If We Don't Make Sense
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